Parenting Advice: Do What Works For You

Parenting Advice: Do What Works For You

If you are a parent, chances are that you’ve found yourself looking for parenting advice at one point or another. You have probably also wondered if what you are doing as a parent is acceptable or not.

I myself, I have Googled questions on parenting how-tos a gazillion times, and looked for answers in countless books. But, in the end what I have found out is that the best thing to do when it comes to you and your kids is what works for you. Period.

Many moms ask themselves things such as “am I a bad mom if I don’t breastfeed?” or others may find if horrible if another mom’s kids don’t nap, or eat a certain food.

Instead of criticizing the mom down the street for her “attachment parenting” style, or wondering if you should try what she does, just find out what’s easiest on you. Seriously, if you keep on trying to fit into a parenting mold, or do what everyone says you should, you will end up frustrated and in worst shape than before you tried out their advice.

It’s a process of trial and error. When your child cries at bedtime, think of how you would feel better dealing with the situation. If closing the child’s bedroom door until he exhausts himself crying and falls asleep is what works for you, then do it without feeling guilty.

You and you alone (and probably your spouse or partner) know your kid best, you can tell whether he’s being capricious or if he is not feeling well. So, if he’s just being cranky because he doesn’t want to go to bed and you know he’ll be fine if you leave him in his crib to “cry it out” then go for it.

If your neighbor thinks you are being mother Cruella, then too bad for her, it’s not her kid and she’s not raising him, so it’s time she butted out of your business. And the same goes for you if you think what another mom is doing is unacceptable. To each his own.

My husband and I have realized that by doing what works best for us and our daughter is what makes things easier for everyone. Emma is home with me all day, and she is a late sleeper, so I let her sleep until she wakes up. She also goes to bed late, so when I tell other “concerned parents” her bedtime they look at me like I am from Saturn, or like I am the world’s worst parent. Well, my kid is happy and she’s enjoying her time, while their kid is tired for half the day. Plus, both my husband and I have enjoyed 8 hours of sleep since the day she was born, so yes, this works for us.

Another big issue I’ve come across, which always gets frowned upon is homeschooling. Parents who believe in institutional education – and there is nothing wrong with that – always think that it is such a terrible thing to school your kids at home. Well, I for one am considering homeschooling Emma because to me the educational system is getting too controlling for my taste.

I don’t like how so many schools try to indoctrinate the children into their belief systems. I think schools should just concentrate on teaching children their basic educations and not whom their parents should vote for in the next election. Plus, I don’t believe that kids all learn the same, and they are definitely not all the same. I don’t care for how some schools always try to make the students all be equal in every way. But, that’s my opinion and I don’t advocate my beliefs on other parents.

So, while I will never tell another parent how and where to educate their children, I will educate mine in a way that works for us. Many parents like the school system and they want their children educated in it. That’s perfectly fine, that’s what works for them and I have nothing against it. But, as for me, I think my daughter benefits from a certain way of teaching that I can provide and a school may not, so I think homeschooling can be the way to go for us.

We are not there yet, but when my daughter reaches school age, we will decide the best way for her to learn and we will do what works for us.

There are many aspects of raising and educating children to choose from, and for the most part (except for those that are damaging, obviously) none of them are wrong or right. Each parent should see what works best for them and their children and go from there. Don’t let others’ opinions influence what you are doing as a parent and stick with your instinct and ideas.

That’s my advice, and of course you can decide whether or not to follow it. Just do what works for you!